Future Darwin Award Winner

Hello! I’m back from my conference in exciting Wichita, KS. I thought about talking abou the trip, but I’ve come across a better story.

I often participate in Disneyland-related discussion forums on the Internet. They are usually full of the usual news and rumors about the park. Lately there have been a lot of postings about the Tower of Terror (ToT) which is a ride where you board an elevator, sit down, fasten a seatbelt and you are sent up and down very, very fast as if the elevator was failing. You actually fall faster than gravity because the ride is not a free-fall, they actually pull you down faster than gravity, so it’s quite a treat.

One thread in particular caught my attention this weekend. Here is the first post by a guy who goes by the name of “Lobo”:

“Anyone ever wanted to ride TOT with no seatbelt?

I love the TOT so much. I’ve now been on it over 24 times. The floating sensation is a kick.

I’ve been thinking of sewing up a belt theat closely resembles the seatbelt on the TOT. I’d like to ride it with no seatbelt. I don’t think that I’d float too far HA! I could come to the park with my homemade “belt” on and a long coat. When it came to load in I’d latch the real seatbelt to the lock and then sit on it. When the bellhop come to check on you have the coat slightly covering the latch and then pull on the yellow part of the seatbelt thats sewn onto my homemede seatbelt.”

At this point I warned him that the elevator is going faster than gravity, and he will not. I also pointed out that not only may he hurt or kill himself, but he may do the same to innocent passengers in the ride. Others reminded him of the same. This is his reply:

“No. I think it would be alright. I’m not worried about hitting the top of the cage. For that to happen it would take a much longer fall like maybe 40 floors. I was being serious.”

Someone else:
“Lobo, when and if you do this, if the cast members in tower see you floating around they will hit a e-stop so fast you will come crashing down on top of the seats and hopefully break leg or two.”

Him:
“I think you are all making a MUCH too big deal out of this. There is no way I’m going to fly up and hit the top of the the cage. Like I said, you would have to be falling much further and longer for that to happen. I’ve done some studying about gravity, weight, time…etc. I’ve rode TOT many times now and have used coins, keys, stuffed animals, etc in my research. I would rise maybe 5″ at the most. I also would ride in the back row just to be safe.

I’m more worried about sewing up a convincing seatbelt.”

Other replies:
“Dude, seriously, you need to read up some on Newton’s laws of motion, gravity, and inertia.

That elevator cab is changing directions (up and down) very rapidly, with the power of absolutely humongous motors. Unless your body is “one” with the cab (i.e. strapped in), your body will NOT be making those changes in direction at the same speed - you WILL come into violent contact with the cab.

Please tell us you won’t do such a thing. Otherwise, this really is a Darwin award waiting to happen.”

“Lobo, I say go for it! Don’t let the small minds here keep you from your dream.

What if Christopher Columbus had checked with a message board first before sailing out beyond the edge of the world? Christopher would have been told that he would just end up hurting himself and that he should keep his ship in the local waters that had already been defined and approved by the Legal Department.

Don’t let that type of strangulation happen to you Lobo. Be like Christopher Columbus. Dare to live your dream Lobo!”

To which he replied:
“Thanks for the support.

And this wouldn’t be a stunt.

I’m a AP [annual passholder]. Anyone up for this in the next couple of weeks? ”

Future Darwin Award Winner? Well, I hope that this thread is just a joke. But if he tries it, I hope he doesn’t hurt anyone else.

Posted by david at 10:31 am | Permalink |

Filed under Observations

Rest and giggles

I finally went in for my much feared massage. Let me tell you how it went.

I went into the day spa, which I guess is also a fancy hair salon, and I said “Hi, I’m David, I have a 4:15 appointment”. The girl was looking at me funny and couldn’t find me in the system. I guess she was looking at hair appointments. Why, I do not know, I shave my head. I’m not sure why she would even think of looking at that side of the appointment schedule. She finally finds me and says, about as loud as she could “oh! a massage!” and this super butch looking guy who was sitting there waiting for his girlfriend gave me this look of … “waaahhh?” Great start.

So I’m escorted to another area to the Day Spa section of the building. Everything was dark, and quiet, except for some spacey type music in the background. Candles. Smelly stuff. A fish. And I’m taken to a lounge to wait for the massage therapist. I’m offered some ice-water which I declined.

And I waited. And waited. And waited. And no one was coming. At 10 minutes I was getting bored. At 15 minutes I started walking around trying to find someone. At 20 minutes I started looking for hidden cameras for a TV show. All along I kept hearing weird synthesizer music with wave sounds in the background. I also heard a song that sounded like it was being sung by the “Crash Test Dummies” singer from the early 90s. Then something close to the Survivor credits music came on.

Finally a girl showed up and introduced herself. She took me to a room and she explained that I could take my clothes off, as much or as little as I feel comfortable “some people leave their underwear on, others don’t” - and with that, she left me alone.

I figured that if I’m in for the experience, I might as well go all the way out and got naked and then under the covers on the massage table. A couple minutes later she came in and began the massage.

Everything was going great. I was enjoying the massage and I was relaxed. Proof that I was enjoying what was going on was that I had stopped analyzing the music, which by the way, was actually the Audiovisions channel on XM Radio.

She then asked me to turn around while she held the sheet in place. Maybe it’s just me. But I think she took a peek!

She started working my shoulders and then she moved towards the neck. And as she was massaging my neck, this crossed my mind:
“She is playing with my neck fat!”

I actually giggled out loud like a little school girl. And I couldn’t stop. I had the “church giggles” which is when you know you shouldn’t laugh, but you can’t stop.

She didn’t say anything, and I was feeling horrible for laughing. Finally she moved on to one of my legs and after a couple minutes, I stopped giggling and went back to enjoying the massage.

Overall it was a very nice experience. One that I may have to repeat someday.

Posted by david at 9:16 am | Permalink |

Filed under Personal

June 11th 2004

Orkut

Orkut is a social network website pretty much like Friendster except that you can’t sign up without an invitation.

It’s made by some guy who works at Google. I don’t think that Google is directly responsible for it but they do have something to do with it.

If I know you and you would like an Orkut invitation, post a comment!

Posted by david at 1:18 pm | Permalink |

Filed under Personal

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