You might be a Floridian if …

Melanie, an ex-coworker from Kansas, now works for a company whose corporate office is based out of Florida so they get Florida-themed emails once in a while. She shared with me one of those “you might be XXXX if ….” lists that go around the tubes in the Internets.

Now, I can’t quite check most of them off since I’ve only been here for slightly over 5 months, but I’ll get there. Oh yes I will! Someday I’ll be cool like Joshy Josh.

“Down South” means Key West

“Panhandling” means going to Pensacola.

You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive.

Flip-flops are everyday wear.

Shoes are for business meetings and church.

No, wait, flip flops are good for church too, unless it’s Easter or
Christmas.

An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

You smirk when a game show’s “Grand Prize” is a trip or cruise to
Florida.

You measure distance in minutes.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

All the local festivals are named after a fruit.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer,
not summer but really hot, and Christmas.

It’s not soda, cola, or pop…it’s coke, regardless of brand or flavor,
“What kinda coke you want?”

Anything under 95 is just warm.

You’ve hosted a hurricane party.

You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the
best rides.

You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee and Withlacoochee.

You understand why it’s better to have a friend with a boat, than have a
boat yourself.

Bumperstickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA

You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.

You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn’t swim.

You get angry when people say “Florida isn’t really part of the SOUTH”

You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.

You know what the “stingray shuffle” is, and why it’s important!