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Archive for August, 2006
Get humanI’m an idiot. I lost my American Express card. So I called the customer service number so that I could have a new card sent to me. And I waited. And I waited And I waited. After over 15 minutes of waiting on hold I decided to hang up. I knew there had to be a better and faster way to get to a human. And sure enough. There is. Say hello to Get Human, a database of customer service phone numbers and how to quickly get a real person to answer the phone. In my case it was some toll-free number I had not heard of before, and then dial 0 repeatedly. So I did. And it worked. In less than 10 seconds I had a living, breathing, and thinking human being on the line. And he was nice! And knowledgeable! And helpful! Take that, IVRs!
Storm of the centuryErnesto. The storm of the century. Or at least that’s what the news channels wanted us to believe. And it’s hard to blame them since they don’t have any sensational stories to tell us about and scare us with. The hype was so big that all of the schools in the county closed for today. That includes my place of work. I woke up at 8 am, looked out the window to see that it was just a plain old boring cloudy day. At around 2 p.m., Josh decided to come over to kill some time since he had the afternoon off. So we went to Blockbuster, rented a couple discs from Arrested Development Season One, we stopped by the liquor store and got some girly drinks and then came home to watch the DVDs. Finally around 4 the rain came. And it’s been raining non-stop since, but really, we’ve had heavier rain here several days this summer. I think that the worst of the storm is passing over us right now and it’s just some heavy rain but nothing I haven’t seen before. Yawn.
Pumping itThis morning I stopped by a gas station to buy some car candy (ie. overpriced gas.) All the pumps were full so I just picked one and waited behind a lady who was filling up her car. Everything was progressing as normal until the car porn started. She was holding the gas pump and then suddently she started pulling it in and out slowly. In. Out. In. Pause. Out. Pause. In real quick. Out real quick. Again and again. I was giggling at the scene in front of me. It was obscene. And what did she do when she felt satisfied? I’m not making this up. She pulled out all the way and got juice all over her car. Just like in any good porn flick.
Tourist bingoLiving in Orlando you get to live among tourists every day of the year. Some are nice, some are annoying and you can’t wait for them to go back home. And then it hit us, why not have fun at their expense? So we created “Tourist Bingo.” It’s a bingo board with 25 spaces that you take with you to the theme parks. Each board has typical tourist sights such as: But it doesn’t contain extremely usual and easy items such as “kid crying” or “someone stopping in the middle of a path to read a map.” Although the center square does contain a common sight “Father breakdown.” Every afternoon or early evening, after several hours at the parks with the nagging wife and tired children, and after paying high prices for food and souvenirs, fathers get this look on their face that says it all. They’ve had enough, they are tired of their family’s complaining, they are broke, they are pushing a stroller and they are just about to cry. Disney breaks them down in a matter of hours. We are currently trying to think of new Tourist Bingo items so if you can think of any, feel free to post them as a comment.
Starbase dentalUsing that nifty little chat-like thing on the left, Josh has asked me to talk about Starbase Dental. I don’t have any first hand experiences with it (yet) but I do have some reports. Have you seen the movie Trekkies? It’s a movie where they sort of make fun of Star Trek fans. In it they feature a dentist who has turned his office into, well, a Star Trek space adventure. The name of his office? Starbase Dental. And it turns out that it is 5 minutes away from my house! Now, I haven’t had a chance to go there myself yet, but I do plan on it. In fact, maybe I’ll take my camera with me and if they let me, I’ll take some pictures. I was unable to find any pictures of the office anywhere. But when Ron was looking for a local dentist, I suggested Starbase Dental and he thought he’d give it a shot. I had him practice his Spock greeting and all. Apparently they all used to wear Star Trek uniforms and fancy make up, unfortunately they don’t seem to do that anymore, which is disappointing in my opinion. But everything else is like what you’d think it’d be. First, they greet you by saying “welcome aboard Starbase dental”. The cabinets and walls are, for what I hear, Star Trekish. There is Star Trek memorabilia everywhere you look. They only play Star Trek music. There are monitors all over the office showing Star Trek movies. And that’s not all. For example, when they take an x-ray, the machine goes “engage! *beep* *bop*” How could anyone NOT like stuff like that? I mean, if you are gonna have to go to the dentist, why not have fun with it? It was a matter of timeWhen will kid stars learn? [article]
Priorities
Disney World videosI’m obviously obsessed with Disney World. I go there at least once a week (going there tonight for example.) And then I do searches on Disney World. Today I found some cool and unique Disney World videos in YouTube. - Typhoon Lagoon wave - You can’t really appreciate how big they truly are, but take a look at the size of people by the wave when it starts. - Singing bird at the Animal Kingdom. - Disney’s trained squirrels (not really.) - Fantasmic’s grand finale - again, one of those things you just have to see to appreciate. It gives me goose bumps every time. - Someone who filmed himself inside the Tower of Terror ride using a night vision camera. - Song at the Adventurer’s club - I love it how people have to gesture “milking a cow” when they make the guy spin while holding the cow over his head (makes no sense? watch it.) - Adventurer’s club edit - Fantastic. Yes, I love this place. The drunker you are, the more fun you have. They’re baaaccckk……School buses. They are back. And I hate them. Hate them. hate them. These stupid things make my commute at least twice as long every morning when they are not running, like in the summer. They stop every six feet, and I’m not kidding. - Bus stops, blinking lights, stop sign comes out, 3 lanes of traffic come to a stop. - Bobbie decides that it is now time to put his back pack on just to climb on the bus, only to take it off again. - Bus drives six feet. - Bus stops, blinking lights, stop sign comes out, 3 lanes of traffic come to a stop. - Suzie is not there yet, but the drive knows she should be there. So the driver waits. And at least 50 cars wait, while more traffic builds up behind them. Intersections get blocked because people are stupid to drive through them when the traffic in front of them is not moving. Suzie finally comes out and boards the bus. - Bus drives six feet. - Bus stops, blinking lights, stop sign comes out, 3 lanes of traffic come to a stop. - Manuel sees the bus and takes a leisure stroll while the original 50 cars plus all the new cars wait once again for the bus to start moving. - Repeat several more times until the bus finally turns off the main road…… only to run into another bus a couple blocks further up. Why do these buses have to stop every six feet? What’s wrong with making Bobbie, Suzie and Manuel wait together in a central spot? They don’t need to cross any streets. And why can’t the parents make sure that the kid is out and ready to go before the school bus shows up? Maybe Suzie could get up 3 minutes earlier so that she can finish her bowl of Sugartits in time. Apparently I’m not the only way who feels this way. A quick Google search brought up this one guy who says the same things I just said. In fact, I found a whole forum discussion thread dedicated to this. My suggestions:
La bola de cristalToday I went on a nostalgia trip looking for shows that I used to watch as a kid in the 80s in Spain and I remembered I used to like a show called “La bola de cristal” (the crystal ball) and I remember it having a catchy theme song. So I went on You Tube to see if I could find it. And sure enough, here it is in all of its 80s glory. I also found a video of some guy who used to be a fan of the show when he was kid and decided to, well, dance to the theme song. It’s priceless. Check it out. And while I was at it, I also found some 80s commercials from Spanish TV.
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