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I have a fear of heights. That’s fairly normal. But I have a strange phobia. Parking space phobia. The fear that I will be unable to find a parking space anywhere I’ll go.
That is one of the reasons why I get to work earlier than most people. And why I take my lunch break earlier than most people (so that when I come back, people are out at lunch and I can find a parking space.)
When it’s time to go out at night with friends, I rather other people drive. Not because I mind driving (I don’t mind it if I know where I’m going) but so that I am not responsible for finding a parking space.
I always tell myself that this is a stupid fear and that I am making a big deal out of nothing. And sure enough, whenever I need to go somewhere, I find a parking space. I always tell myself that I have nothing to worry about. But I still worry. But I always find a parking space.
But not tonight. I agreed to meet some friends at a local club at 10:30 pm. I didn’t want to go earlier because then I’d be by myself for 1-2 hours and it’s just silly. I told myself “don’t worry, you’ll find a parking space like you always do.”
So while repeating that mantra, I headed to the club around 10:15. I get there at 10:30 and what do I see? A sign that says “LOT FULL.”
“Non sense!” I say. And I follow the other cars into the lot. I go up and down the aisles, at some point I end up going against traffic and somehow I figured out a way to turn around (not sure how) and suddenly I start feeling my phobia symptoms. I start getting hot, my forehead starts to cover with sweat, my heart starts beating faster and harder than normal. I am not going to find a parking space.
I tried for a few more seconds but I just couldn’t do it. My body was a mess. I could not do it any longer. There were only two ways to get my body back to a normal state. Either find a parking space NOW or leave. The parking space was not happening so I headed out. As soon as I hit the street, all the symptoms stopped as if someone had flipped a switch.
It’s embarrassing. It’s stupid. I am upset that I couldn’t find a space. I am upset that I proved my phobia right. And I am even more upset that I flaked out on my friends.
